File #1: Trowa on... steroids?!
By Detective Chrissyotto
Yes, the mysterious, one-eyed teenager a skinny twig in one scene then a
pumped-up muscle man in the next. How does this happen? Well I, Detective
Chrissyotto, have taken it upon myself to figure out this mysterious situation
and have come up with 2 theories:
1) He works out with Goku, doing hands stands and push-ups on one finger
before every performance.
2) Steroids. Probably the main reason 'cuz its in the title of this case.
12345wdhat67 89the heck?!its a mobile suit!! ITS A GUNDAM!!!!!!!! Surround and
destroy it! They destroyed five Aries like they were nothing! (sorry, sudden
gundam outbreak =P)
Anywayz, I wasn't sure about this assumption so I decided to go to Trowa's
school, S.T.U.P.I.D. (Simply Too Unfunctional People
In Disability) High,
classroom 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999990, to talk to his
teacher if they supported the D.A.R.E. program. Mrs. Topon (actually I think her
top was off but that's my opinion) said that Trowa...
Stefachu: ...is a gay faggot dumbass and
that WuFei was the best student in the entire school.
STEFACHU!!!!!!!!!! STOP RUINING THE STORY!!!!!
Stefachu: hehehehheehehehehehehehehe!!!!!! All of you puny mortal losers
must worship God Wufei!!!Chant every night before you go to bed: "Wufei is
the most amazing hot sexy guy in the entire universe! I must worship Wufei, even
though Wufei belongs to Stefachu! YAY!! WUFEI WUFEI!! Sally Po is a
stuuuuuuuupid bitch and if I ever see Sally Po walking down the street I promise
to kill her."
Yeeeeeaaaaaahhhhh, ok well on to the REAL story.
Mrs. Topon said they had been doing D.A.R.E. all week and that she had noticed
Trowa sitting in the corner all alone, taking some kind of pill... I knew then
that it HAD to be steriods. But to make sure I attended one of Trowa's
traveling circuses hoping he would be there, sure enough he was. But he wasn't
the only one. I also met up with the other Gundam boys who decided
to come watch him. I decided this would be a good chance to get a couple
interviews. ^_^
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Quatre: "Well first off, WE SHOULDN'T BE FIGHTING AT ALL!! I MEAN
WHAT'S WRONG WITH OUR SOCIETY TODAY?! CAN'T PEOPLE SEE THAT HURTING PEOPLE IS
NOT THE SOLUTION?!?!?! BUT NOOOOOOOO WE HAVE TO HAVE STUUUUUUUPID PEOPLE IN THE
WORLD. Die... they should all die... heheheheheMUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Uh, oh
yeah, about Trowa... yeah I've noticed he's gotten more muscular recently... god
that turns me on... *siiiiiigggghhhh*"
Wufei: "An interview? What do you think I look like? One of those
weak fools who just spill out free info. without charging?! I'm not telling you
anything... and no I didn't come here because I saw a hot chinese chick come in
which turned out to be a drag queen who wanted paid sex! Speaking of drag
queens, where's the justice in that?! Men are men and Women are women. Everyone
knows the male dominates the female so why would you want to be one?! WHERE'S THE
JUSTICE?!?!?!?!"
Duo: "Yeah, I always knew that guy was on somethin'. Steriods
doesn't surprise me ooonnneee bit. Yeah, I knew it all along, also knew that he
was fag. and that I'm the best character on the show... what do you mean? Of
coarse this is a show. It's called Gundam Wing, does that ring a bell? No
I'm not crazy, THIS IS A SHOW!!! WE'RE ALL ANIME CHARACTERS!!! WE'RE IN A
MAKE-BELIEVE WORLD THAT CAN BE TURNED AROUND BY THE SWIPE OF AN ERASER!! What do
you mean I'm a drag queen?! This is how I always dress! You wanna piece of me
Chang boy? Yeah thats right... CHANG CHANG CHANG CHANG!! In your face justice
freak!"
*While Wufei beats the crap out of Duo in the background...*
Heero: "Trowa? He's just a guy... like me... maybe he's on
drugs... do I look like I care? I'm not your typical caring guy who loves puppy
dogs... and flowers... and... OH MY GOD!!! THE LITTLE GIRL AND THE PUPPY DOG!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! WHY?! WHY?!?!?!" *starts twitching uncontrollably*
Relena: "HEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
Heero: "No not Relena! Dear god, satin of all hell is
coming!"
Relena: "HEERO WHERE ARE YOU? COME AND SHOOT ME HEERO!!!
PLEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
Heero: *Quickly pulls out his gun he keeps with him 24/7 and searches
himself frantically for a bullet* "Where's the bullet, where's the
bullet?!?!?! Can't find bullet... damn! *pulls out large cross* BACK DEMON
BACK!!!"
Relena: *Looks around* "HEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRROOOOO!!!!!!!!!! COME
TO ME HEERO!!!!"
*Duo serverly beaten and bleeding so much you can't even see his face clearly, manages to sneak up behind Heero while Wufei pulls out his sword and starts coming towards Duo...*
Duo: "HE'S RIGHT HERE!! HEERO'S RIGHT OVER HERE!!!!"
Relena: *Catches sight of Heero* "HEERO!!!!!"
Heero: "Damn you! *looks over at Wufei* I hold, you stab."
Duo: "AAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!! *Duo screams in agony has Wufei
slashes at his back*"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I decided to slowly back away from this scene and get a talk with Trowa
backstage after his act. I was walking behind some boxes backstage, since
some freak monkeys with wings were flying about with large pointy objects
through the main walk way. I caught sight of Trowa and was about to call
out to him when I saw him doing something suspicious. I decided to stop
and see what he was doing, crouching down and peeking through the cracks of the
boxes not to get noticed. And there I saw it. Well... semi saw
it. Trowa casually went in a corner, looked in all directions cautiously,
and whipped out a small bottle of some sort. He opened it up and poured
out a pill or something into his hand and quickly swallowed it. I couldn't
really get a good look at what it looked like since Catherine started frolicking
around like a pixie in her underwear blocking my view. God what a slut she
is... probably stuffs too... uh, ANYWAYZZZZZ I was totally shocked and
immediately went into action.
"Hey Trowa! What are you doing there?!" I shouted
out to him. He turned his head slowly and stared at me. His eyes bulged
out, his muscles bulged out, EVERYTHING bulged out... yes even THERE... *shivers
at memory*
"AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! STEROIDS!!!!!!!!!!" I
shouted out pointing at him. Frightened, Trowa quickly made a run for it
out the tent and I was hot on his trail. He ran right into a nearby
forest, thinking he could lose me. It was pretty dark since it was getting
late in the afternoon, and let me tell you something, you do NOT want to go
running in a forest when it's dark 'cuz some weird stuff happens...
Trowa was getting faster and also thinner. I guess the
muscle was burning off with all the running. But after 15 minutes he
started to slow down, gradually stopping to catch his breath. I caught up
to him and stopped to do the same. I was so tired I barely was able to
choke out a couple of words:
"Trowa... what... the heck... did... you just....
take...?" Before an actual reply, or head motion or hand signal of
any sort (you know those quite type) a distant voice swept through.
"Trunks give me back the
camera!"
"Never! I'm a carrot, I'm a
carrot! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!" Two young boys, one with short
purple hair, the other with black spiky hair, both wearing karate-looking PJ's,
ran by, the purple haired boy holding a video camera aimed at his face and
running insanely with the spiky haired boy chasing after him. This was all
so very interesting but first thing was first, I had to get a talk with Trowa.
And I would've just forgotten about the crazy young boys when a thought came to
me: 'I could use that video camera to capture this mysterious event.'
I grinned evilly and casually called out to the young boys:
"Hey you two boys!" The two boys stopped in their
tracks and turned around to face me. "Come here a sec."
They started walking towards me. "Hi I'm Chrissyotto, I couldn't help
but notice what a nice video camera you have there. You wouldn't mind if I
used it for a quick sec. would you?" I asked, batting my eyelashes.
"I'm Goten, and sure you can use
it if you can get it away from Trunks over there. Believe me it's not
easy. I've been trying for the last 10 minutes."
"10 minutes, that's 10 carrots!
All for me and none for you! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Trunks, the purple
haired boy, shouted as he ran around Goten insanely.
"Don't mind him, he's just a
little insane right now since we've been out here in these woods for the past 10
days."
"10! There's that number again! 10
10 10 10 10!!! Teeeennnn carrots! Teeeeennnn carrots! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"Uh, what for?" I asked, trying to ignore
Trunks who was now prancing around us with both hands in the air, one hand with
the index finger up, the other making an 'O' shape (making a "10" with
his hands).
"Have you ever heard of the
Chikyuu witch?"
"Uuuuhhhh not recently..."
"Well," started Goten, acting
all sophisticated-like, "The Chikyuu witch is an ancient legendary witch
that haunts these woods, killing anyone who disturbs her and feasting on their
souls!"
"Okaaaayyyy, well, I'll just be taking this camera now
and..." I reached for the camera Trunks was running around with.
Trunks quickly turned around and started running away. "Come back
here you little...!!" I chased after him in circles.
"NEVER!!" he yelled
back at me, "CARROT POWER!!!!!!!!!!"
Having me distracted, Trowa found it the perfect time to make his get-a-way. He
whipped out some orange-looking vegetable from his back pocket, took a bite of
it, and started to creep away.
"Oh no you don't!" I stopped chasing Trunks, ran
over to Trowa, and pounded him to the ground. "Aha! Now I've got
you!" I noticed the vegetable Trowa had in his hand. "Hey, it's
a carrot." BAD MOVE.
"Caaarrot?" Trunks
stopped dead in his tracks. He slowly turned his head my direction, drool
spewing out from his mouth, eyes popping out, and an evil grinch-grin on his
lips. He pretty much looked like Quatre gone mad. All of a sudden,
Trunks ran to me and Trowa and belly-flopped on top of our little pile of
people. He grabbed for the carrot in Trowa's hand and tugged. Trowa
gave an evil glare at Trunks and tugged back. For the next five minutes it
was tug-o-war over a carrot and me in the middle of it. No words could
describe how mad Trowa looked. Not like he says anything anyways.
"Hehehehehehehahahahahaha!!!" An evil
chuckling laughter filled the air around us. Everyone stopped.
"What was that?" I said aloud. Next thing I
know Goten screaming away and pointing at this big shadow thing coming towards
us.
"Trunks! Trunks! LOOK! IT'S THE...
THE..."
Everyone: "CHIKYUU WITCH!!!
AAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!" We all made a run for it out of the woods,
Trunks looking back with the camera ever so often munching on his carrot he was
able to steal from Trowa. It all happened so fast... We ran as fast as we
could, huffing and puffing, screaming and swearing, leaping over logs and
dodging trees. Then all of a sudden I heard a sudden thud.
"Trunks help me!!"
Goten cried from behind. He had tripped and couldn't get up.
"There's no time!"
Trunks shouted back, running faster as he heard Goten screaming so loud it was
like a ravage beast was ripping his flesh off (which was probably happening).
"Look it's one of the gundams!" Trowa shouted,
pointing at the large mobile suit. Finally he spoke. We got to the
end of the forest and ran towards it hoping to get in its cover, when a figure
popped out of the cockpit...
"HI FRIEND TROWA! YOUR MUSCLES
TURN ME ON!!"
Everyone: "AAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!! IT'S QUATRE!!!"
we shouted, running back into the forest. Hey I'd rather take my
chances with the soul-feasting witch then Quatre wouldn't you?
In the end, we were all able to escape the "Chikyuu
witch" (which really turned out to be a bunch of flesh-ripping weasels) and
Quatre without permanent damage. Trunks found his friend, Goten, ripped to
shreds but still breathing and ran off with him and a mysterious looking green
alien named "Ecoostik." I finally got a talk with Trowa which he
admitted had been taking some of what he called, "energy
boosters." And as for Trowa, he stopped taking the steroids for
protection against Quatre. ^_^
Case closed.
Answer to mystery: Is/was Trowa on steroids? YES
*Note: The whole thing with Trunks and Goten and the Chikyuu witch was from a really funny DBZ fanfic called, "Frieza Beans" by Steve. I just wanted everyone to know that I did not make up the idea with Trunks and Goten looking for the Chikyuu witch or the alien named Ecoostik but I did however make up the whole story part with me, them, and Trowa. Just wanted to give credit where it's due so I don't get sued by the guy. Besides he worked hard on the story "Frieza Beans" (you can tell by his little notes) and it would suck for him seeing his ideas being in some other story. So please don't sue me Steve I'm just a child and everyone go read "Frieza Beans" (which you can find in our fanfic section) 'cuz I say so! =P =P =P*