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Stef's Kick-Ass Dictionary Words!!!
airy fairy - One that is insubstantial or impractical
hence - consequently; therefor
fairyism - belief in fairies; fairy
lore
faggot - (slang) a male homosexual
Hunker - a member
of one of the conservative factions of the Democratic party in New York State in 1842.
parvenu
- one who has suddenly attained wealth or position beyond his birth or worth, as by accident of fortune.
contrite
- broken in spirit because of a sense of sin; penitent
mongoose - any of the viverrid
mammals that comprise two subfamilies (Herpestinae and Galidiinae) often grouped in a separate family (Herpestidae), that
include agile ferret-sized mammals sometimes with bands or stripes, and that feed on small animals and fruits
axolotl - any larval salamander of the genus Ambystoma
holmium - a rare-earth element
phototaxis - movement of an organism toward or wawy from a source of light
retem - a shrub of Syria and Arabia, having white flowers: said to be the juniper of the Old Testament.
*Chrissy's Addition*
ebonic - the ghetto slang language
Now go and amaze people with
all of these kick ass dictionary words!!!!!
Stef's Abnormal Obsession with the
Revolutionary War
(and just history in general)
Hello I'm Stefachu and I am here to tell you all about great events
in HISTORY! MOST IMPORTANTLY the REVOLUTIONARY WAR! Chrissyotto thinks I'm CrAzY because of my abnormal obsession with the
REVOLUTIONARY WAR, but I REVOLUTIONARY WAR!!! don't think sooooooooooooo... (sorry that happens sometimes)
Now the REVOLUTIONARY
WAR is a huge part of our history. Our ancestors fought that war to give us freedom from the British. Personally the history
of Great Britian FASCINATES me, but that's another story. Let me start from the beginning...
The first official fight
between the British and the Americans (Patriots) was at Lexington and Concord in April 1775. The Americans had more people
than the British at the time. 20,000 New England militiamen surrounded Boston and placed it under siege. On June 17 General
Gage responded by attacking American positions on Breed's and Bunker hills (Battle of Bunker hill, if you've never heard of
that you probably have an F in history). The British won but they had more than 1,000 casualties. The stalemate at Boston
continued until March 1776, when the Americans, now under the command of Washington, erected a battery of cannon on Dorchester
Heights, overlooking the city. Rather than engage the entrenched Americans, General William Howe, who had succeeded Gage as
the British commander because Gage was criticized for heavy British casualties at Bunker Hill, evacuated his troops from Boston.
The British departed for Nova Scotia accompanied by more than 1000 Loyalist refugees. In the meantime, the fighting in Massachusetts had sparked skirmishes between Patriots and Loyalists in Virginia and the Carolinas.
In June 1775 the Virginia House of Burgesses forced the royal governor, Lord John Dunmore, to take refuge on a British warship in Chesapeake Bay. From there, Dunmore organized two military forces: one of whites,
the Queen's Own Loyal Virginians, and one of blacks, the Ethiopian Regiment. In November he issued a controversial proclamation
offering freedom to slaves and indentured servants who joined the Loyalist cause.
In North Carolina, Governor Josiah Martin tried to maintain his authority by raising a force of about 1,500 Loyalist migrants
from the highlands of Scotland. However, in February 1776 the Patriot militia defeated Martin's army in the Battle of Moore's
Creek Bridge, capturing more than 800 of his troops. In Charleston, South Carolina, in June 1776 General Charles Lee and Patriot John Rutledge, who later became governor of South Carolina, mobilized armed artisans and three Continental regiments
and repelled a British assault by about 3,000 troops commanded by General Henry Clinton.info
taken from... "American Revolution," MicrosoftEncartaEncyclopedia 99. 1993-1998 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved
Random Thoughts
*New thoughts at the bottom*
*From the top to the bottom
Bottom to top I stop
At the core I've forgotten
In the middle of my thoughts
Taken far from my safety
The picture is there
The memory won't escape me
But why should care?
* Has
anyone actually HAD liver and onions before?
* Why the heck would a chicken want to cross the road? And waht kind
of road is it? Is it a street/traffic road? If it was then I don't think he would WANT to cross it but with the the intelligence
that chickens have he probably would cross it and become road kill unless:
A) He's a smart chicken and doesn't cross
B)
He had a broken leg and couldn't cross
C) There were no cars in sight
But how did he break his leg or become really
smart? Then again if it was just a road/path in the forest of something then of coarse he'd cross to get to the other side.
* How many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a Tutsie Pop? Does the world know or may it never know? And
has anyone NEVER gotten to the center of a Tutsie Pop by biting, licking, or whatever period and/or didn't even know or forgot
there was something in the center for like half their lifetime besides me? Yes that's right, you can start laughing your butt
of at me now unless you have not gotten to the center yourself then SHUT UP!!! I'M WORKING ON IT!!!
* How much wood
COULD a woodchuck chuck? I'm guessing how ever much he feels like chucking or could chuck without up-chucking in the process.
Which would be... well you go find a woodchuck and find out!
Also, a comment from the anti-Door site, "If a woodchuck
COULD'NT chuck wood then WHY would they call it a woodchuck?"
*What came first the chicken or the egg?
*I
have this great idea... Okay you know how there are ant farms where there is glass and the ants make little tunnels? Well
how about a MOLE FARM? Wouldn't that be cool!!!!????
*Sea Monkeys are the ultimate pet
*LOL is stupid
*Why?
*I'm gonna do things my way
It's my way, my way or the highway
Someday you'll see things my way
Cuz ya
never know, no, you never know
when your gonna go
Someday you'll see things my way
Cuz ya never know, no, you
never know
when your gonna...go
*Why do I put versus of random songs in this?
*How many red hats DOES
Fred own?
*MOLE FARM!!!!
*Limp Bizkit's music will someday be played on the oldies radio station.
*Giant
mongooses are NOT a good thing.
*Why is country music legal?
*Could you dig through the center of the earth
and get to China??
*"We've got this whole new concept. We go out on stage, play all our own instruments, sing all
our own lyrics, and nothing's choreographed. It's wacky!" - Kid Rock
*frankly modest speech dishonest
eyes upon
us like a vulture in the sky
un-beleived a holy story led in motion
peers are punished for their in-di-vi-duality
seperating us all...
friction based upon fiction
replacing friendship untrueness,
speculation, cocentration,
heresay is controlling us...
* Isn't it weird that in 30-40 years from now, artists that are "in" today like:
Destiny's Child, J.Lo, P. Diddy, Britney Spears, *Nync, Limp Bizkit, etc. etc. will be considered as "oldies"?
* Ok
you know how there are breast implants? Well does anyone know if there are dick implants?
* Wouldn't it be kinda weird but cool to have pajamas in bananas? Like you would buy a bunch of bananas and just like
in cereal boxes where they sometimes have lil' crappy toys in them, you would break open one of the bananas and there would
be a pair of pajamas. *Starts singing the "Bananas in Pajamas" song but in reverse =P*
* Is there such thing as underground pop?
Chrissy's Words of Wisdom
(Be Warned)
* Did you know, if all the DNA in all the cells in a single human being were stretched out it would reach the moon and
back 18,000 times? - Steve Jones: British geneticist.
* Quote: "I must laugh at the ones who must be laughed at." -
Me ^_^
* If a 300 pound dog runs to you and you are not 300 pounds or more, run like hell!
* Quote: "I kick ass. No ass will be left un-kicked." - Me ^_~
* Miracle Grow is a girl's (cleavage's) best friend. ^_~
* Listen to your Mother when she says not to play with swords.... it's just not nice.
Chrissy's List of Search Engine Visitors
(Yes, these are all real. =P)
*New results at the top*
June 2003
- "mike copon" <--- Yeah baby! ;P
- "REALLY SCARY FREAKY PICTURES"
- "crazy things that scare you"
May 2003
- "Yaoi Site Layout"
- "home movies videos funny crazy
- "pictures of crazy acts by people"
April 2003
- "teenage flirt" <--- That's me! (Chrissy) =P
- "crazy and interesting animation"
- "sailor moon sexy fan fiction" <--- Uhhh...can you say, DNFAH? Desperate
Need For A Hard-on? =P
- "bunsen burner pictures only" <--- Well fine then!
- "*~*~CuTe LiL QuOtEs~*~*"
- "peeing my pants is more fun"
March 2003
- "mandz music"
- "NEW FLIRT QUOTES"
- "my "thong pictures""
- "My lil crazy site" <--- *starts singing "My Little Pony" theme song*
- "wow this is some funny craziness"
- "Legolas as a baby fan fiction" <--- Riiiggghht
February 2003
- "cute lil love quotes ever"
- "pants peeing pics" <--- Now WHY would you wanna see those??
- "legolas yaoi pics" <--- Legolas is a REAL man not an ANIME man!
- "A WEBSITE that i can make lil cuti" <--- We're A WEBSITE :)
- "o la la crazy" <--- Kinda catchy *sings "o la la" over n' over*
- "pictures of a Bunsen burner"
- "schwonk" <--- Yes, our whole site's a schwonk
- "funny crazy weird quotes"
- "stupid crazy quotes"
- "lil cutie"
- "crazy site names"
- "verry funny quotes"
- "my A.I.T. pictures"
- "really cute quotes about love for a teenage gi"
- "crazy thinkers" <--- that's us ^_^
- "AIT' cutest"
- "thong pictures no blind links" <--- what?
- "Cute lil quotes"
January 2003
- "cute s/n's" <--- Awww the internet likes ours!
- "bunsen burner pics"
- "morp" <--- Wow! Someone from our school! Hooray!!
- "morp freaking thong" <--- Hey now!
- "dragonball yaoi&cat" <--- I said only GW yaoi!!
- "crazy pictures with chainsaws" <--- Well now that's just random... and
scary...
- "random search engine" <--- The most random search engine result person
yet!
- "crazy clown pictures" <--- Aggghhh!! Clowns!!
- "creepy pictures thumbnails"
- "ranma yaoi pics" <--- Sorry, we only offer GW yaoi pics =P
- "Pictures of creepy dead things" <--- Well now isn't that lovely?
- "dragonball funny quotes"
- "funny yaoi pictures"
- " o my god thong pictures" <--- *laughs*
- " evil clown pictures" <--- Greeeaaat
- "Schwonk Online" <--- Site O' CrAzY!!!... Home of the free advertizment ^_~
- "deero195.tripod.com/siteocrazy/" <--- if they had the address why didn't they
just use it? *laughs*
December 2002
- "weird internet crap" <--- well poo on you
- "all punked out pictures" <--- yeah baby, rock on ^_~
- "'I love you' hand gesture"
- "hand gesture 'devil'"
- "why do people like yaoi?" <--- *Apple Jacks commercial*
"They watch what they like!"
- "weird random crazy pictures"
- "deero195" <--- whoa, creepy O_O
- "can o whoop ass" <--- Mr. Doyng: "Bust out ma can o' whoo ass beans!!
Duahaha!!"
November 2002
- "funny scripts for home videos"
- "crazy crap videos"
- "Hardcore Yaoi Yaoi -Hentai" <--- *laughs*
- "random funny interesting crap" <--- this decribes our
site perfectly
- "crazy home made stunts"
- "crazy weekend stunts"
October 2002
- "Funny pictures of mark walberg"
- "site o crazy" <--- this one's the biggest shocker
- "websites that scare the shit out of you"
<--- haha yikes
- "mr happy and chrissy" <--- Chrissy?? aaagggghhh!!
- https://deero195.tripod.com/siteocrazy/ in the Google English-Spanish Site Translation
<--- wow, we're bilingual
September 2002
- "Takahashi Rumiko Peep"
- "Boys Go Crazy" <--- ....over
us ^_~
November 2001
- "Green Bean Casarole" <--- mmmm
with sweet po-tat-ahs!
Poimatoes!!
*More to come. Keep checking back.*
Chrissy's Collection of Bootylicious Phrases
~ He who laughs last thinks slowest.
~ I came here to chew bubble gum and kick-ass.... and I'm all outta bubble
gum...
~ Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Hate me because your man thinks so.
~ I'm sweet like sugar,
soft like suade, but unlike nintendo I never get played.
~ ¿Quién es tu papá?
~ Hey does your Mom work at
the UPS? Because I could've sworn she was handling my package
~ Hey does your Mom work at the circus? Because I could've
sworn she was juggling my balls
~ Hey does your Dad work at a hot dog stand? Because I could've sworn he put a weener
in my buns
~ Hey does your Dad work on a farm? Because I could've sworn he was milking my nipples
Don't Pick Up These Lines
(Get it? Pick-up Lines? Har har har =P)
- I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?
- Excuse me, do you have a Band-Aid because I scraped my knee when I fell for you.
- I hope you have a library card because I'm checking you out.
- Your tag says 'Made in USA', but I could have sworn you were made in Heaven.
- Hey lady, those are some nice clothes, can I talk you out of them?
- How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
- Is your dad a terrorist? Cause baby your da bomb!
- My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
- Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.
- Want to play Pearl Harbor?....It's a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.
- If you were a burger at McDonald's, I'd call you McBeautiful.
- Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past you again?
- Are you wearing astronaught pants? 'Cuz your butt is outta this world!
- Someone call the cops! This woman just stole my heart!
- Are you a delinquent because it should be a crime to look that fine.
The Chicken Debate
(a.k.a. a strange e-mail I got debating over the chicken crossing the road...)
VICE PRESIDENT GORE
I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now.
I will not give up
on the chickens crossing the road!
I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them.
GOVERNOR GEORGE
W. BUSH
I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road.
I say give the road to the chickens and let them
decide.
The government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.
RALPH NADER
Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tire makers.
Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society
pays tire makers to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing
them.
Down with the roads, up with chickens.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay!
Isn't it obvious?
Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face?
The chicken was going to the "other side."
That's
what "they" call it -- the "other side."
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
And, if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay too.
I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
That chicken should not be free to cross the road.
It's as plain
and simple as that.
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken
crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken
crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL
SANDERS
I missed one?
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone. Forgotten.
The Political Philosophies
with Two Cows
Explained in Simple "Two-Cow" Terms with an Update for the State of California
Socialism:
You have two cows. You keep one, but must give the other to your neighbor.
Communism:
You have
two cows. The government takes both and provides you with milk.
Fascism:
You have two cows. The government takes
both and sells you the milk.
Bureaucracy:
You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks
the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.
Dictatorship:
You have two cows. The government
takes both, then shoots you.
Capitalism:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Democracy:
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both to support a man in a foreign country
who has only one cow, which was a gift from your own government.
Corporation:
You have two cows. You lay one
off, force the other to produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised when it drops dead.
California:
You
have two cows. The state tells you how to milk your cows, when to milk your cows, how much to milk your cows and the most
that you can charge for the milk. You go broke and sell the cows. The state calls you greedy and blames you for the current
milk shortage.
Great Thinkers of Our Time
(Actual quotations)
1. Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I
would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because, if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA
contest.
2. "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry.
I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
-- Mariah Carey
3. "Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijauna.
The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are."
-- Mat Lauer
on NBC's Today Show, August 22nd.
4. "I haven't commited a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
-- David Dinkins,
New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.
5. "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
--
Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal antismoking campain
6. "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
-- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the
Dallas Mavericks
7. "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
--
Hillary Clinton, commenting on the release of subpoened documents
8. "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
-- Former French president, Charles de
Gaulle
9. "Outside of the killings, Washington has the one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
--
Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.
10. "It isn't pollution that's harming the enviroment. It's the impurities in our air and water that
are doing it."
-- Former U.S. Vice President, Dan Quayle
Only in America
- Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
- Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
- Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while
healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
- Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
- Only in America...do banks leave safe doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
- Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
- Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from
someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
- Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
- Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics"
meaning "bloodsucking creatures."
- Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
PREGNANCY QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby
move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A:
So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but
pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're
pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A:
Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering
from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very
quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A:
When the kids are in college.
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2.
You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your
husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker
that says "How's my driving-call 1-800-***"
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. You're
convinced there's way too many male's in this world.
8. You can'! believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
9.
You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts
aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference
between beige, ecru, cream, off-white and eggshell.
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2.
The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
AND, the Number One thing only women understand...
1. OTHER
WOMEN
I Want to Be a Bear
If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months.
I could
deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.
I could deal with
that, too.
If you're a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and
wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs.
I could definitely deal with that.
If you're a mama bear,
everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them
too.
I could deal with that.
If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.
He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
Yup..... I wanna be a bear
12 Things to Do in a Public Bathroom
1. Stick your open palm under the stall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Cheer and clap loudly everytime somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
3. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
4. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shoot!! My glass
eye!!"
5. Say, "Darn, this water is cold."
6. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope
into the toilet bowl from a high place. Sigh relaxingly.
7. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
8. Say, "Hummus.
Reminds me of hummus."
9. Using a small squeeze tube spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the
stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Could you kick that back over here, please.
10. Say, "Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna to do?"
11.
Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
12. Say, "Interesting...more sinkers than floaters."
NEVER SAY TO A COP....
- I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer *unless your a Texan*
- Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
- Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
- Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 MPH to keep up with me. Good job!
- Are you Andy or Barney?
- I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
- You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
- I pay your salary!
- Gee officer, that's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning too!
- Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
- I was trying to keep up with traffic...Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how
far ahead of me they are.
- When the officer says, "Gee son...your eyes look red. Have you been drinking?" You
probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee officer, your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
Why I will NEVER EVER have kids, and also why
they suck
by Stefi
1. It hurts like hell
2. You get fat
3. You get stretch marks and saggy boobs
4. Babies are ugly
5. Babies smell
6. You have to change them and wipe their poopy asses. Who THE HELL would do that by choice? WHO!?!?!
7. They puke...on you....a lot
8. They don't sleep, ever, and they wake up in the middle of the night and start screaming their bloody
heads off for no apparent reason.
9. They're stupid, yeah I know they'll get smarter but the first five years or so their like...stupid!
10. They cry all the time
11. Your husband doesn't have to do diddly-squat, he's never in pain, he won't get morning sickness, HELL
he can go pound sand for all I care but I'm never having kids!! Muahaha!
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