Today's Burner of the Day:
Profe Wagenveld - "Guys, make sure you see your girlfriend without
make-up or else it's false advertizement."
*Profe talks about his annoying encounters with his students*
Kids in Profe's class - "HEY PROFE!! COMO ESTA!!!"
Profe Wagenveld - "No! Leave me alone!!"
Profe Wagenveld - "You see your teacher at Von's and it's like, "What
are you doing here?? Back! Get back to your coffin!!""
Profe Wagenveld - "My sister-in-law without make-up...¡Qué susto!"
Boy - "Profe, do teachers have lives?"
Profe Wagenveld - "No, we go home to our coffins."
Profe Wagenveld - "See me after class."
Boy - "I already am."
Profe Wagenveld - "...Well, perfect."
The Archive
Profe Wagenveld - "No! STOP!...wait,
go..."
Mrs. Reese - "Does anyone have a sixpack yet? I have like three packs
but they're all over the place."
Mr. Burros - "Do you know where EB-5 is?"
Girl - "No."
Mr. Burros - "You go to the EB buildings and you go down all the way until
you see a building with a sign that says, "Math Rocks."... It's not that one, it's the one next to it."
Mr.
Harris - "Come on, I want you up here. I miss you... Come on, I'm going to play teacher! *Uses
a deep voice* One... *puts hands on hips* Two... Come on Ms. Benly! Three...
Time's up! Here's your seat Ms. Benly!"
Mr. Harris - *Using an example of "active voice"*
"...He ripped the body to shreds and flung the bloody corpse against the wall, YEAH!!"
*Talking WWII talk*
Mr. Moore - "Japan's like a "player" in
the world... I'm dorky, I know."
Mr. Harris -
"Hahaha 'save the trees'."
Lauren - "Are you laughing at me?"
Mr. Harris - "Hahaha yes."
Mr. Harris - "I'm not laughing with you, I'm laughing AT you!"
Mr. Harris - "And the trees on the mountain are lush and green and I DON'T
CARE!"
*Going over the symbolism in the book, Lord of the Flies*
Mr. Harris - "'Fulfillment', of course, means
she's reached orgasm. I mean come on, it's obvious."
Mr. Saner - "Okay...she's
going to read the announcements now....You're not going to talk....I'm not talking, so you're not talking...I have no desire
to talk...." *this goes on for another 5 minutes*
~ Submitted in by: Lena
Mr. Manly - "And then they
get these wry, stupid little grins on their faces and say, 'You're studying chemistry? PINVERT!!'"
~ Submitted in by: Lena
Mr. Masur - "Death hinders
the movements of your arms."
~ Submitted in by: Lena
Mr. Manly - "And just like
that, without understanding it, you can just listen to the ping-pong balls in your head..."
~ Submitted in by: Lena
Mr. Torretto - "Radke,
get your penis on the mat, dammit!!"
Some wrestling coach - "Through
the croch, through the croch!!"
Mrs. Sienicki - "It was about
108º outside. It was the day I thought I had died and went to hell."
Wrestling announcer guy -
"In fourth place, from *some high school*... whoops, sorry... in fourth place, from Poway..."
*Talking about SAT's and how they were back in the olden days*
Mr. Harris -
"Spelling now? Really? They may have changed it."
*You hear a loud chatter of talk*
Ms. Waldon - "Hey! I don't hear any learning going on!"
"You're a sub?? You look like you're in high school.
Do you get hit on a lot?"
Mr. Burros -
"No..."
Ms. Carson - "Some of
you are so full of it I need hip boots here."
Mr. Manly - "Don't make me tell you to
hold your nuts!"
~ submitted in by: Lena
*Some
wrestling coach slaps his wrestler on the ass before entering the mat*
Quiche - "Well wasn't that just homosexual."
*After
a couple of minutes yelling stuff out to his wrestler...*
Some
wrestling coach - "Wait, are we green?"
*Girl's binder
has the word, "shat" on it*
Mr. Burros - "You've got poo on your binder."
Audra -
"It's shat not shit."
Mr. Burros - "I know but it's
the past tense. After you shit you shat."
Guy - "You squeaked."
Mr. Burros - "Yeah I know, pueberty was brutal."
Mr. Saner - "Ok we're gonna run one lap and then we're gonna run two more."
Girl
- "So we're gonna run three laps?"
Mr. Saner - "NO! ONE lap
and then TWO more!!"
Mr. Burros - "You
go to kindergarten and all the kids are like, "Wow!" and you can teach them the chicken dance. Then you go to high school
and all the kids are like, "F-you!""
Mr. Harris - "Yeah, you
go to one of those dating, match-up places and you read this profile that says: Likes fishing and death metal.
Then you're all like, "WHAT THE HECK?!""
Josh - "Is Scott your first name?"
Mr. Scott - "Yes."
Josh - "What's your last name?"
Mr. Scott - "It doesn't matter."
Mr. Scott - "See, at teacher school they
tell you to use your first name as a way of teaching you to be your (guys') friend... But I don't want to be your friend."
Girl - "Do you go to teacher school?"
Mr. McGill - "No, teacher school is for
idiots."
Girl - *Hands Mr. Bowers a tin of candy*
"Here's a little something for helping me with my essay, which I think I did pretty well on."
Mr. Bowers - "You did?"
Profe - "'Oh, what a handsome young
lady you are'... is that a compliment??"
Dumb girl in Profe's class - "When I
go to Europe, I'm gonna go to all the different countries. I'm gonna go to Paris... England... France... oh,
and London too!"
Mr. Harris - *Leans against the chalkboard holding
a mug of coffee with a gleefull yet sarcastic smile*
"So, how's that separate peace?"
Hall Gaurd Guy - "And the winner
is Gary."
Gary - "I like being a loser."
Ms. Carson - "The way your going, Gary, you
won't be a loser for long."
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